The Day After

Confession: I went out for drinks last night. Yes! I did. And I did a really good job of it too. Cocktails. Sugary ones. At a fancy cocktail bar where my drink housed a single rectangular cube of ice, a stainless steel straw and a chewy, sugared ginger cube stuck on the side of my very tall glass. It was delicious. All three of them.

I’ve been cleansing out the breads and sugars from my diet, working to get my insides all in balance. And that was a big ol’ sugar bomb. Even the parts that weren’t sugar are probably turning to sugar as I type. Boom.

So what happens now?

Well, let me tell you something. I thought I would wake up with guilt stacked on tummy ache stacked on some long-term horror as yet to be unnamed. The tummy part was true, but screw the guilt. I’m back on track.

I’m drinking water and taking extra probiotics. this amazing salad (I skip the cheese and breadcrumbs). Thank you very much Dr. Weil. And I’m taking a ‘do not panic‘ approach. And aside from a headache, it feels pretty good.

More drinky drink tips from Your Healthiest You can be found here.

Image from the photo stream of Kowarski, here.

I Tried It: Goat’s Milk

When I tried goat’s milk yogurt for the first time, I’m not sure what I was expecting. Maybe something tangy or earthy. Something that smelled farm-like. But, for those of you who haven’t tried it, it tastes like yogurt. For real. It’s been a pretty seamless transition.

I love me some yogurt. Greek, regular, never fruit on the bottom. Just plain love. I’m pretty sure I lived on yogurt and granola alone for a year. But, recently I started working with a rock star nutritionist to help me navigate the sometimes-intense waters of whole health, ayurveda and nutrition – and to address some specific imbalances I’ve been having. It is all one big experiment. An experiment that includes: goat’s milk stuff.

For a while I eliminated dairy all together. But with some additional changes to my diet, it all started to feel just too restrictive and I missed my yogurt-y treat. So goat’s milk yogurt it is. Today I topped mine with a handful of almonds, half a chopped apple, and some hemp seed, and I’m a happy camper.

This is the kind my health food store carries. They name all their goats, so that’s cute.

Image from Sharon Montrose

I Tried It: Quinoa Cereal

I’m not afraid of trying new things, food wise. At least when it comes to non-meat, non-processed things. Or things with pits. Or, like, puddings with weird textures. Okay, I’m not always good at trying new things. But I’ve tried new foods for you here before. So let’s add one more item to the mix: Quinoa Cereal.

I’ve had these Cocomama packets in my pantry for a few months now – an attempt to work a protein rich breakfast into my routine. They look so good in the picture. Like oatmeal, but without all the gluten. And these are ready-to-eat. You can heat ’em up, or not. Just dive in.

After a good pantry clean-out, I had 3 pouches of this stuff waiting to be tasted. So, today was the day. Me, spoon, open pouch. Honey almond cereal, let’s go.

You guys, it just didn’t taste like food. I put it in a bowl and heated it up in the microwave. Still not so good. Then, I dumped about a table spoon of cinnamon and some salt on top and ate it up.

The “flavors” just didn’t taste real. I think any one would be better off just making regular quinoa in advance, and treat it like breakfast. Maybe cook it so it’s still a little mushier, add some breakfasty-type seasonings.

I’m going to go ahead and say, this stuff just isn’t for me. I’d imagine if you added fruit and honey, this would be a decent breakfast. But, for me, this was not a win.

Bagel Friday

Every Friday at my office is bagel Friday. Piles of freshly baked bagels make their way into toasters and knives-full of butter and cream cheese coat the toast. I like this ritual. Can you tell?

Here’s the thing though: My body does not. I think.

I talked here recently about my latest juice fest. I felt completely awake and vibrant. And as I started getting back to my normal diet, I tried to be aware of how different foods made me feel. Which ones kept my eyes bright and which made me overfull. And I can tell you after my first bagel (even with the insides scooped out!) this is how I feel: Foggy and weighed down. Not just in my body, but in my head.

Now, I could wake up tomorrow with a head cold and then this bagel conspiracy is all just a coincidence. But for now, I’m just watching. Staying aware.

Cleaning Up My Act

Oh, people. It’s time. It’s for serious time to clean up my act. In terms of food, I mean. At least it’s a place to start.

We eschewed Turkey this year and made pasta from scratch together – along with all sorts of other sides. Everything was delicious, but there was way too much bread – for me, at least. I’m pretty sure that it’s the bread that puts me way over the top. When it comes to this kind of eating, my belly grows three times its normal size (I’m not exaggerating) and it’s silly and uncomfortable.

So, now it’s time. I might not do a full-on juice cleanse. But it’s certainly time for some dedicated clean eating. Green stuff. Lots of green stuff. Maybe the old juicer comes out to live on the counter. And laying off the wheat and dairy for a while is certainly in order. I’ll let you know how it goes.

How about you guys? Can you keep your food balance over the holidays or are you more like me?

High Fructose Gross

I know that high fructose corn syrup has a new ‘it’s not so bad for you’ ad campaign but I can’t help but think it might be part of what is making me feel gross right now.

In part, I’m writing this to remember to bring healthy snacks to work, because I’m always starving around 4pm. Today I hit the vending machine and this is what I just ate:

Enriched wheat flour, riboflavin, sugar, high fructose corn syrup, soybean oil with TBHQ for freshness (what?), contains two percent or less of soy lecithin, leavening, salt, natural flavor with other natural flavors.

Someone give me some kale, pronto.

Toot, A Full Belly Yoga Haiku

Poorly planned meal times
Yoga on a full stomach
Pa-rum-pum-pum-pum

Hiding Behind the Mat

I feel like it’s important to share this no-dairy journey, but I’ll spare you the play-by-play action. It’s only day deux and I’m not facing any particularly interesting challenges or feeling any special magic vegan fairy dust. I am happy to be on this path knowing I will feel better in the long run, and I’m really looking forward to feeling clearer.

In the meantime, life goes on. I’m currently looking for new health insurance (again!). I’m working with my daily practice and am considering taking this show on the road – adding some classes into the mix and considering taking up the teaching mantle once again.

It’s intimidating to think about going back out there. I’m afraid of rejection, of putting myself “out there” and it seems so much safer to practice at home and pontificate online.

I wonder, too, if I’m waiting to be “better” before I go out there. Waiting to have it all figured out – I have a perfect daily practice, I eat like a superhero! – to build myself up before I step out on the ledge. Even though I know damn well there is no perfect and that I just need to get out there.

Oh, man. Sometimes I hate those kinds of realizations. Because once you get there, there’s really no excuse to stay where you are without moving forward. Anyone want to come with me?

Lesson Learned. Again.

I’ve been pining lately – for a version of myself with clear eyes and skin, open breathing and open body. It’s the no dairy version of me. Remember when I stopped eating dairy and eggs? And I kind of complained that the changes were too subtle. I wanted SHAZAM! kind of changes. And eventually, the holidays came and I dove into a sugary vat of butter and eggs.

Well, guess what? SHAZAM! I feel like crap. I could go into all the seamy details, but for now let’s just say all that too-subtle opening and energy seems like a dream state and a good starting point. So here we go again. Day 1, no dairy. Again.

UPDATE: To keep myself honest, I plan on tweeting some of my yummy vegan food choices with the tags #febislovemonth and #veganlunch. Follow along if you like! I could use the encouragement.

Weekend Activities

Saturday I did a home practice with a Dave Farmar podcast. He’s good. I ate a really magnificent eggs florentine, and then went to the MoMA and watched a woman dance in sand for 15 minutes while listening to the people around me complain about it.

Sunday I did the same Dave Farmar practice except this time I was super cranky about it. I went to the Museum of Natural History with friends and Journeyed to the Stars with Whoopi Goldberg, and then enjoyed taxidermy while constantly finding the gift shop and nothing else. I came home and watched Enlighten Up!, which I liked but didn’t love. And I wrote an email to my dad. Love that guy. Oh, and I also made wasabi chick peas using this recipe, which I remembered to halve. They’re really addictive; I think it’s the salt.

Super Yummy Super Food Kale Chips

This summer I had dehydrated kale for the first time and I loved it – absolutely hooked. I was really craving something similar tonight, but alas, no dehydrator have I. Instead I figured I could fry those puppies, right?

Well, you can. And it’s the easiest thing ever. I found this lovely how-to on the tube after the fact just to show you.

Black Swan Beautiful – or Dangerous?

[image via]

I’m having a hard time reading this article in Vogue about Natalie Portman’s training regimen and transformation for her role in Black Swan.

I don’t disagree with core strength, awareness, beauty and elegance. Mary Helen Bowers, the woman Portman trained with and the creator of the Ballet Beautiful program talks about the physique to which her students aspire:

“The body type is strong. It’s muscular, but the muscles are very long and lean and there is something that’s very elegant about the body, and also very powerful,” she says.

But isn’t there also something dangerous? Mila Kunis talks about how her training and weight loss for the film left her feeling, well, gross. She lost 20 lbs for the role, dwindling to a mere 95 lbs.

“In real life, I looked disgusting, but in photographs and on film, it looked amazing.” [via]

Yikes. I’m glad Kunis says this out loud because even though the pain of training is apparent in the film, and is being discussed in the press, I still feel like there’s this underlying tide of: but don’t they look beautiful?

And that’s what this Ballet Beautiful article talks about too. Train hard, intensely, unforgivably and you, too, can look beautiful. The tagline on the site reads: Artistic. Athletic. Attainable.

Yoga is not ballet. We are not taught to train or restrict for the sake of achieving a certain body type. And, to be honest, I don’t mean to suggest that ballet is a particularly vain pursuit. I simply don’t know enough about it to say that. It is an art, but one that has the surface-workings of painful ego-addiction.

In yoga, we are encouraged to let go of ego all together. But all the tools for vain self-destruction are there: rigorous dedication, cleanses, diets, austerities. The superficial practices – when coupled with the beautiful bodies we see bending and twisting on the pages of magazines – can serve to feed the ego, too.

I don’t have a final word on all of this. I’m not saying that this film is doing women a disservice, or that Yoga Journal is twisting our minds. I’m just aware of my own feelings when I read this article.

Ostensibly, the press coverage is not congratulatory about the rigors of training and weight loss these women undertook for the roles they play in this film. And yet, somehow, I still feel an undercurrent of it. Is it because I can feel the push and pull, the attraction and repulsion of this kind of physique myself?

Is the suggestion there – that this is an acceptable ideal for women – or is it just my sensitivity? Is anyone else feeling it?