I don’t decide who to be every morning when I wake up. I just am.
Shift happens over time, it happens when we’re not paying attention. It happens when whether we’re busy or contemplative; intentional or unconscious.
But what if I could decide? If I could wake up each morning and decide who to be. I can’t wake up and change my job, my house, the weather, my friends and family – not every day. But what if I could decide who I am at my job; how I live in my house; how I respond to the weather; who I am as a friend, sister, daughter?
I’m starting to think I can decide. And I’m not talking about faking it. I’m talking about real, authentic shifts in behavior chosen based on what I feel in my soul. I’m talking about the possibility, just the mere possibility, that I might be able to behave differently, to choose differently, based on who I am and who I want to be.
These shifts aren’t drastic really. I’m not thinking of picking up and moving to the ashram – which is something I’ve considered a fantasy option for some years now. I love my life, it’s really, really close to exactly what I always wanted. But there are some things that feel out of control: the obligations, the pace, the isolation.
For example, I don’t want to be harried. So, what if I chose to start the day with a walk or a book, instead of checking email while I’m still in bed? Not such a big shift. But over time – who knows?
If I were to embark on this experiment, and test this theory, how do I do it? How do I know who I want to be each morning when I wake up? The only way I know how is to ask.
Ask, listen, act. And then maybe, just maybe, I can decide.