Along the path of this 30-day yoga challenge, I’ve come up against a lot of edges. Deconstructing poses I’ve been doing for over a decade. Going beyond my limits and finding new ones. And this just over two weeks in!
But I’ve also come across this question: Why am I doing it? The answers I started with were simple. I wasn’t sure how to brave this transition from regular-employed to self-employed. I feared the lack of structure. I knew yoga would get me through. Additionally, I was looking for a yoga community. A place to go, people to talk to that wouldn’t balk at the decision to leave a soul-sucking, but well-paying job.
So when faced with the option of taking a day from in-class yoga to spend time with family, I have to ask what part of me is resisting?
Am I so attached to getting my name on some list of 30-day winners? That’s part of it. Another part is fear. If I let go of the in-class practice one day, what about the next day? And the next? Could I so easily lapse into tv-watching, couch-dwelling potato depression?
The truth is, yoga is helping me through this transition. And I am creating a support network of fellow yogis in, and out, of the classroom. And what bad thing will happen if I don’t win a 30-Day T-shirt? (There isn’t one, by the way.)
The gremlins keep telling me this is all rationalization. I’m really just too lazy to go. I’m really just looking for excuses. You know, like seeing my parents.
Perhaps the yoga list-keepers in my head will accept an at-home practice when it fits better in my schedule.