My YTT graduation is approaching. And every time I practice teach, I have a vision – more of a feeling, actually – of a future self. Or an alternate universe where I’m a yoga teacher, instead of a copywriter.
That’s the point, I guess. To get used to the whole idea of doing this for real and for true.
At the same time I go through this training, though, I am taking on more responsibility at work. And so I’m left with another fantasy version of myself. A self that has lots of meetings, feels strong and in command, and makes “important” decisions.
It’s easier to imagine my life going down the corporate path than taking the severe left turn into teaching. Which, I guess, is why it’s scarier.
I kind of have a crush on my future selves. The corporate-ladder climbing one, and the yogini, both. Less so the yelling, controlling, pissed off work version. But, still, there is something appealing there, too.
But when I get in that zone – the work zone – I miss my future yoga teacher self. As ALWAYS, I’m working on the balance. But not choosing is starting to feel an awful lot like a decision.