This month has been really difficult in terms of trying to integrate my yoga into my life. I seem to be holding on to it really tightly, and not letting it permeate the rest of my actions. Almost as if I’m afraid to let it go, that it will dillute itself in the murky rest-of-my-life waters.
What would really happen if I lived my life based on how I feel during those hours I spend on the mat? Based on the way I’ve been acting, it’s like I don’t want to know the answer.
Moderation doesn’t seem to be my strong suit right now. I’ve been over-indulging, losing track of projects and things to do — like I’m in a mad struggle with myself to try to get grounded and stay afloat all at the same time.
But I am watching it all, trying not to judge myself too harshly. I know it will all come in time, with practice and dedication. I feel really strongly about wanting to dedicate myself to this practice – on and off the mat. But, for some reason, I haven’t been doing it. That can only be fear getting in the way.