Low Tolerance

I have a very low tolerance for depression. This does, on occasion, put me at odds with myself. And it wasn’t always this way. I used to be able to be depressed for months on end without really even knowing it. I’d just behave inappropriately or make odd choices, that, upon reflection, reveal my unhappiest self.

Now, though, a week, maybe a month, and I start getting annoyed with myself. Currently, I’m shaking off a quick trip to the doldrums. I’ve been feeling a little off track lately, so I’m trying to figure out how that happened and, more importantly, what I can do about it.

Thing one: The Happy List
These are things that I want to have in my life. Whether that means these are things I can start acting on right now, or maybe circumstances I can only fantasize, for now, it doesn’t matter. The task is to list them all out. And even just making this list has improved my mood.

I’ll include the list here – just for fun. I notice that I went back and forth in tense and tone. But it doesn’t really matter. This was just something to get the engine running! What does your list look like?

Work 4 days a week in an ad office, here or elsewhere. Or work freelance. Or both.

Take yoga teacher training. Then see if I can pick up a class or two on the weekends. Eventually tailor my officetime/writing schedule around my teaching schedule.

Live near more trees and grass.

Be healthy, active and positive.

Continue work on fun and fulfilling outside projects – whatever I choose: Kiwi, First Kiss, Freelance writing.

Travel. Because my schedule is more flexible, I can find great flights in advance and take short trips to Europe, Portland, Quebec or Peru.

I can work from anywhere. So, if I get a sub for my teaching classes – I can travel and write from anywhere. Or if I take a vaca from freelance work, I can go to yoga workshops anywhere in the world.

Take a continuing education yoga class in Bali, or Hawaii.

Have yoga friends. Just a couple of people who live that lifestyle. Who live in the world, but are also spiritual and committed to yoga. It will be nice to be able to melt into that community.

Get closer to my friends – cultivate relationships. Have people over, say yes to activities.

Go for long walks in the park – figure out a way to take Kaylee to central park. Lay down, read a book. Smell the grass and flowers. Sweat a little during the day and be cooled by the breeze on the walk home.

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