Day 4

I just returned from the beautiful wedding of two of my best friends. The weekend was full of reunions. I realized I was thinking of the weekend as a chance to catch up with my Martinis and Mantras cohort, and to bask in the glow of the bride and groom. In all of the excitement of preparing for the wedding, I didn’t stop to think about what an important event this was.

I was overwhelmed almost from the moment I stepped off the bus. Reunited with a group of women from college – we probably hadn’t all been in a room together since we graduated – it was inspiring to be surrounded by such beautiful, genorous, and lovely women.

Even with all that love and support, I watched as I distracted myself with a million other things during the ceremony and reception. In fact, when recounting the reception with friends, I realized how absent I was – as if I watched the whole evening through a fuzzy lense.

I am absorbing and processing the events of the weekend, but I still feel disconnected. I know the wedding raised all sorts of doubts – about my career, my choices, my habits – but I haven’t been able to sort them all out yet. Most of all, though, my heart is full of love and appreciation for my dear friends, and I’m so glad to have been there.

-mmny

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